Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
