Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Green mimosas i think yes
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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