so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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