what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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