Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
