I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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