If that was your dad, he is hot
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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