You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize