you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
