do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
