At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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