What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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