I am in a vortex of obligation.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
