Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
