Small penises have feelings too.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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