Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
