i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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