I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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