i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
