Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
