You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
