I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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