Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
It's blow job season.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
