Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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