I'm jealous of your bromance
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
organizing the empties. That sober.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
