What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
