Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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