So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
