I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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