The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
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