I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize