shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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