i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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