Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Randomize
