No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
she looked like the before picture.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
