Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
