Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize