who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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