Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
