Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
