sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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