U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
