She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
