David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
