I'm going to jail i love you
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
high people should be assigned attendants
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Actions speak louder than pants.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
