i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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