So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
