he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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