He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize