my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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