I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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