So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
