im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
not ubering you a puppy
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
