you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
