I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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